Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration; the newlyweds are full of hopes, dreams and expectations and vow to stay together until death do them part. The road to a happy marriage, however, is far from easy and happily ever is sometimes not a reality. This is evident from the high divorce stats globally and locally. A report by Statistics South Africa says four out of ten marriages end in divorce before the 10th anniversary with the highest proportion of divorces being among couples who’ve been married for five to nine years. The same report showed that over 23 000 couples filed for divorce in 2019 in South Africa; 53.2% of them were initiated by women, 34.6% by men and 12.2% the gender of the plaintiff was not specified. 

Various studies have been done to ascertain whether divorce in the church or amongst Christians is as high as non-Christians. According to a study by Barna Research Group (Barna, 2008), Christians are just as likely to get divorced as non-Christians. However, a later study by Wilcox in 2015, showed that active conservative protestants who attend church regularly are 35% less likely to divorce than those who have no religious preferences. One thing is clear from both studies; the church is not immune from divorce although there are attempts to dissuade members from getting divorced

Although there are no stats to back this claim, it appears that young people in the church are losing interest in getting married. Many young people in the church no longer see the value of getting married and like the idea of being independent. These observations are backed up by a report by (Statssa, 2022) which also shows that marriages are becoming less common in South Africa; the number of people getting married has fallen steadily between 2011 and 2020. The high decline in 2020 might be attributed to restrictions on gatherings in that year, however, the number of civil marriages has been consistently declining even before the COVID pandemic. Civil marriages have fallen by 22,5% between 2011 and 2019 and declined by a further 31,1% in 2020.

From the stats above, it is evident that many people, and not just secular but Christians as well, are becoming fearful of the marriage bond. Marriage is an institution that was created by God before the fall, it is therefore a holy institution.  In Genesis 2:18, Adam was lonely and needed a helper and marriage came into existence. The primary purpose of marriage, therefore, is companionship, fellowship, comfort and mutual help. These are needs that most people, if not everybody, has. The secular world is able to fulfil these needs through cohabitation hence some do not see a need to commit through marriage.  However, young people who are born again and zealous about living a holy life don’t have that option. Marriage also protects individuals from sexual immorality. The world we live in is full of sexual images, innuendo, and temptation; even if a person doesn’t pursue sexual sin, it pursues him or her, and it is very hard to escape it.

Moreover, the ministry needs to encourage marriages because they are the backbone of society; a marriage creates a stable home in which children can grow and thrive. It is clear that God created marriage for our good; to make us happy, to promote a healthier society, and to produce holiness in our lives.

This ministry has been formed by the Christian Crusaders to ensure that the married couples in the church embrace and display the virtues that support a character changing gospel that personifies Christ, even in their marriages. This ministry aims to achieve the following;

• Build strong, enjoyable marriages as opposed to endurable marriages

• Curb divorce

• Offer pre-marital counselling

• Promote or offer a cheaper alternative to big weddings

• Encourage (not coerce) young people to get married.

Hold special events and encourage fellowship and friendship amongst couples

• Have quarterly meetings on circuit levels.

• Annual district conference / banquet.

• Have a national weekend retreat at a central place if feasible.

• Workshops where couples can learn interactively together. 

• Couples’ movie nights. 

At times, couples planning for a wedding get caught up in decisions to make about their wedding day and hardly think about what married life will look like or the struggles they might face. During the engagement stage, these couples can’t possibly imagine something going wrong or their feelings towards their future spouse changing. However, when the reality of marriage kicks in, issues will come up and there’ll be conflicts that the new couple will have to deal with.  Premarital counselling helps couples prepare for situations they may face in marriage. 

Some of the topics which are usually covered in these sessions are:

       i.        Communication: Pre-marital counselling can provide a safe space for couples to examine their communication styles and preferred way of interacting. The couple can also learn how to express their feelings instead of expecting that their significant others should be able to read their minds.

      ii.        Delegating Roles & Responsibilities: How will the household chores be shared; will the man assist in washing dishes / bathing the babies or is the women expected to do everything in the house in addition to having a 9-to-5?

     iii.        Future Goals: The individual goals and plans that the couple may have as well as the common goals they have for their marriage.

     iv.        Physical Intimacy: Pre-marital counselling is a great place to examine and discuss some of the expectations, concerns, and questions that each partner may be holding inside, e.g., different preferences and frequency. It’s also important to discuss past traumas, e.g., rape and sexual abuse so the other partner can be prepared for this and its effects.

      v.        Conflict Management: Couples can learn healthy conflict management skills which will provide them the opportunity as a couple to resolve issues and avoid emotionally hurting one another.

    vi.        Dealing With In-laws

    vii.        Managing Money and Finances - Topics that can be discussed are; wedding and honeymoon budget, any debts owing, and how bills will be handled once married.

   viii.        Discussing Deal Breakers –It is important to discuss deal breakers before getting married so that both individuals understand each other’s expectations of the marriage. Examples of deal breakers are flirting, poor money management, addiction, backsliding etc.

Divorce in the church is often a secrete struggle and a divorce recovery ministry can offer much needed healing for those currently going through separation or divorce, and those who have wounds from a past divorce. According to (Szterszky, 2015), 47% of divorced churchgoers change churches prior to their split while 20% stop attending church entirely. Offering support to those going through separation and divorce can help in retaining members but more importantly, ensuring that they do not backslide.